Friday, December 29, 2006
Monday, December 25, 2006
Friday, December 22, 2006
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
This was such a fun trip and I wanna do stuff like this again. We went up to the Kineret (I love the Kineret) and camped out for a night. It was me, Tipsy, Avital, Yon, Tanel, Micha, Yissachar and Yakov. Here are some pics...
tipsy in a tree-->
me, tipsy, avital, yon, tanel, micha, yissachar and yakov met in the tachana merkazit monday afternoon in the food court with our bags and hung around there till 2, when we took the bus to tverya. First rip-off of the day was a two-way ticket to tverya, lol. That's the way things work here. Anyway, it was a 2.5 hour drive and when we got to the tachana merkazit of tverya we went to check out the achsanya we were thinkin of stayin in but it was pretty creepy and it wasn't that cold out so we decided to go sleep on the beach, on chof chokuk. We made a fire there and Yakov kept it going all night. All smooshed together in a row, we kept warm most of the time. In the morning it was beautiful there. And the cold morning air made everyone fall asleep. So we were all scattered around the ashes of the fire that died down at about 5:00.
outside the achsaniya, waiting for them to open
tipsy by the fire, when it was still small
our feet, tachana merkazit
Monday, December 11, 2006
"now that we're here,
it's so far away
all the struggle we thought was in vain
all the mistakes,
one life contained
they all finally start to go away
now that we're here its so far away
and i feel like i can face the day i can forgive
and i'm not ashamed to be the person that i am today"
I wanna write a story about someone. Someone who fights a society who says "don't fight back", a passive society of teenagers who let ppl tramp on them, a society that sees no deep meaning to their existence. So this person will fight it, he/she will teach everyone what it means to capture the truth in one human mind, to yell back, to conquer a thought, to have the world belong to us.
shabbat in chashmonaim, that was fun... fun fun fun
but 8 hours with tanel over one shabbat isn't enough :-(
according to my definition of freedom, it never happens to me...
becuz someone always hasta run
i mean leave, like go home.
why can't it just last forever?
Why can't movies be more like 10 hours long?
i love my tanel
Friday, December 08, 2006
Monday, December 04, 2006
We run away because we don't understand the reason we stayed back a minute before.
But a minute ago we had the same mind we have now.
amazing song - I will always return / Bryan Adams
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Music makes me fly
Through treeless lands
Through auburn skies
Through hazy rocks and
Through falling stars
Music makes me scream
To resting mountains
To crying children
To gods of fury and
To golden stars
Music makes me wonder
Why I stop
why do I stop?
Why do I fly?
Why do I scream?
Why Do I Wonder?
I look to the corner
And what I see is heaps of disorder
I see shadows of papers
And dusty silences.
I hang by papercuts
I glue myself to wet paint
I am a heap of shadows
In all these silences.
The media has me
It’s a daring focus
It’s a risky scramble
A criminal’s silence.
I walk it because I know it.
I merge into a soft passion
I want it because I love it.
I feel the defense creeping up my arm
I feel the scattered minds, I hear the shaking earth
I fear my words, I fear my power.
I'm afraid to live up to my dreams.
You hold me
I miss you
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
I went back to the memories and sifted through them, and saw all the things I missed. I didn't even realize how wonderful it was back then. I almost cry everytime I remember how good it all felt, how safe I was, how wanted I was that summer. We all walked, talked, stared out into the distance- but it didn't even matter to me, I didn't care what was out there. I was embedded in so much warmness. I was always happy, even the complications made me happy. I remember the feeling. I didn't need to think too much, all there was were thoughts of hugs and love, and there were those and holding hands. I didn't change since then, I just got more experience. Everything is so new now. There's so much more now, I don't need all this newness, I'm happy living in small world with only a few people. I really am. Now there's still that love, but it's surrounded by a million other annoying things. I wish I could have stayed 15 forever and ever and ever and ever... I mean 15, with my tanel, and with all the old stuff...
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Friday, November 24, 2006
People always say that happiness is one of those things that someone can pass to someone else but still have the same amount - doesn't run out.
But in our group, there is never a time when EVERYONE is happy all at once. It feels like when I'm happy I stole someone elses happiness becuz all of a sudden they're sad.
So the happy ppl make the sad ppl happy, so then the sad ppl turn happy and the happy ppl turn sad. or even if the happy ppl stay happy, other ppl in the group become sad.
And when u think of it, the whole world is like that: Never is the whole world happy.
And if we were all happy there wouldn't be a balance and if we were all sad there wouldn't be a balance.
Or maybe there's nothing wrong with no balance. Because when it's a matter of happiness, it has nothing to do with actions, it just hasta do with ppl's brains.
We ended school at 3:40 and naT came and went with me, yoni and alina to tel aviv, to azrieli. yon, pip, chavi and amy were there. like 30 min later everyone already wanned to go cuz most of them were there all day so we went on the train then just stayed on it till it got to jm. so we stayed in jm for like an hour. time flew by like a rocket ship.
I'm going to eat now.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
I'm gonna try to simplify myself. Try to forget the fact that I like to analyze every single thing that roams the earth. Gonna try to focus on one thing, on the fact that I wanna make up some sort of random soup. Or judging by the fact that it's ME making this so-called soup, it won't end up like soup, it'll be more like vommit-colored, shit-textured mush. But I like making up recipes, it's so much funner than actually reading a frikin recipe from a book.
I always said I hate cooking, but it's actually fun if u make up something. And it's even funner if you're doing it with someone else, like in the kitchen with a friend, able to use wtvr ingredients and just spend a while in the kitchen, concocting creativity on a plate.
Wanna come cook with me? hehe
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Friday, November 17, 2006
but i guess after i finish the book it won't feel like it was all one big waste of time, it'll be so worth it in the end.
sometimes i find myself surrounded by papers i wrote on, and im still writing and im writing and writing and the pencil is always in my hand and the pages are filling up with words and more words.
on wednesday night the band played and they were so frikin good that i almost cried it was so exciting hehe
it was better than i thought it would be, cuz yon had a fever and they totally didn't know it was that night so they didn't practice at all that day and blah blah it turned out so much better than that, so much better than anything, even though they think they did badly... but the truth is
i loved it
(i took the pics)
Sunday, November 12, 2006
can people change? like truly change who they are? or at the end of the day, you are who are you, and its probably who you've always been...
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Friday, November 10, 2006
We surprised Anna at her door with balloons and then we all hung out and we ate the cake and gave her half of her present. Pizza Sababa, I decided, is good. It was fun hanging around on Emek Refaim and then in that park there.
I met David who's really cool, and I also kinda met Noam (I already knew him but we never rilly talked).
All in all, good party :-) and I hope Anna had fun!!!!!
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
This common mindset connects us all.
When you walk in the street, in that sense - all the people around you believe the same thing (there's only one reason ppl would believe death is better but still be alive - becuz they want to kill other ppl as if like contributing to Death, like when we believe in something we try to get everyone to go that way, so they would want to kill everyone if they believed death is better).
Everyone around you is different, but the same.
And I try to read deep into their minds, what do they see from where they stand? What are they thinking? Are they wondering what I'm thinking? Do they realize we're all connected in the root of us even though we're all different?
BUT THEN, I realize, I WANT to be completely different. I WANT to have NEW ideas that no one ever came up with before. Most ideas and theories we all have are from things we learned from other people or read in books, and have liked the idea so have taken it upon ourselves. But have we ever really CREATED our OWN theory? A completely original idea that we live by?
Do we follow what others do, even in the tiniest things?
When we look out of a window at a sunset, does our mind soar to different places than anyone else's mind does? Or do we all see the same basic thing and think the same basic things?
I think if we were all more variegated, the world would have progressed faster. But then again, in we don't move all together, and we don't all try to reach the same goal, maybe all the little different goals that people have will leave the world standing right where it is.
I don't know if it's good to belong to a group. If you belong to a group you are prone to be pre-judged or stereotyped. Maybe we should all be individual, but then again, if we each have own own ways, maybe they won't work togetehr and the world will be a catasrophe.
But then again,
Sunday, November 05, 2006
If nothing changed there would be no butterflies
It's the last things that stay in your mind, the last thing you hear, you see, you feel, before you sail off back to where you came from.
If nothing changed there would be no second view
The deepest things come on the thinnest sheets of paper
One of the most annoying things is something that could be changed if not for skipping heartbeats and adrenaline sizzling up my brain.
What's beyond the concrete walls of reality?
What's beyond the skies of conception?
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Barefoot in the cold
Barefoot when we're young
Barefoot when we're old.
Barefoot in the summer,
Barefoot in the fall,
Barefoot when we run
Barefoot when we crawl.
Barefoot with them
And barefoot with you
Kick off your shoes
Barefoot when we wish
Barefoot when we dream
Barefoot when we hide
Barefoot when we're seen
Barefoot when we fly
Barefoot when we land
Barefoot when I hug you
And when you hold my hand.
everything has a loop-hole
Every law has an outlaw
appreciate the little things
remember the night
remember how the wind blew
and how it made you feel
Bringing back some old posts, becuz no one goes back to read them anyway...
Monday, Sptember 11th:
The edge of the world where mortality becomes eternity and love becomes insanity. Where the oak is sore and the trees sway in the chaotic heaven I call love.
Dream on, Dream always.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Sometimes when you talk about something too much or write about something so much it makes it not special anymore so I don't wanna tell everything becuz it was one of the best Friday nights ever.
It's one I'll never forget.
Pouring, with the fresh smell that I love so much.
A Freedom Smell. My Nature is My Home!
And Friday night as it is is such a special time, eating around the table and just the whole Shabbat feeling.
So when it was pouring,
Beautiful raindrops landing on our earth
I ran out.
And I looked up and just smelled the air.
And I ran around the street
And I thought about how happy I was.
And how wonderful it was.
And how miraculous and beautiful and utterly dreamy it was.
And it still is.
Cuz I still remember it
And I came home soaked like i just took a shower
Like how all those sexy ppl look in movies with their hair all wet
and their clothes sopping with the natural
Friday, October 27, 2006
ANYWAY, tonight was one of the best Thursday nights ever. A bit of a whole crazy running-around thing, but that was the whole fun. Not just running around, but also like running in the street, NOT cool! You run in the street, I'll run in the street too. You think I'll watch u get hit w/out being hit tooo??? No, nobody worry, no one was hit, I'm jus ta bit paranoid.
Ice cream on a cold day. Yum
Barefoot on a cold day. Perfect
Freezing on a cold day. Good
Only a bit or rain was missing, but that's ok. The water on the grass at Gan Sacker made up for it, my shoes are soaked.
I keep feeling like I'm not paying as much attention to yon as I used to. I owe him big time for this.
I love being with u Yon ur an awesome friend! Don't ever forget that!
Just sometimes I forgot the important things, and I shouldn't. You're important, can't forget you.
And N you already know I love u so I don't needa write a whole long thing.
And Shayna was so cool tonight! So was everyone else. Yoni was so nice :-), everyone was great. Lots of fun.
I gotta go write a whole long letter and then go to sleep cuz its almost 1:30 in the morning... tired....
P.S. Yon is Yonatan. Just to clear that up for Yoni
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
I just wrote this on Avital's blog, and then I realized how nice it is:
I love that smell. It's the best seasonal smell. This is my favorite time of year. Cold and damp, maybe even some mud, raindrops tapping on our dried up surfaces, and in our hearts. They moisten our emotions and we begin to feel again.
The smell is so fresh and wonderful, that you just know, My Nature is My Home.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Monday, October 23, 2006
People don't do enough.
We use a small percentage of our brains, so we got today to where we are.
But where are we? Not that far.
Imagine all of our intelligence, development and knowledge, who we are today, and everything we got up to till now, was fulfilled by the time we were 6 months old, not 16. If everything until now were smooshed into a much shorter period of time, imagine how far we would be by the time we we were 16. By now, we would be where we will be at the age of 1,000,000, we would understand other dimensions, we would be higher than the human brain is capable of doing, but since we won't reach that age, and we don't have a high intelligence, we die without much.
All we really have is Love.
That's what keeps us alive.
But we don't get far.
We get little.
But in that little is a lot.
But not enough.
"Wtvr u say it's alright, wtvr u do, it's all good" -Cafe Del Mar
I get jealous a lot, but then I guess everyone does they just don't admit it.
I'm imprisoned in the world of words, in the art of laying down my thoughts on paper. It's a trap.
Freedom is about being able to run without worrying when you'll have to stop and where you'll have to end
Didn't go to school today, don't feel well and we hardly learn anything anyway.
I'm going to eat now.]
Friday, October 20, 2006
We walked around the midrechov with Free Hugs signs and people started coming over and giving everyone a hug and taking pictures in hugs and then we even heard other ppl giving out Free Hugs to ppl. And ppl were talking about us and ppl were saying we were doing an amazing thing, and we made ppl happy, and ppl got hugs.
Lots of ppl.
We started out with one sign, then we made more. All of us had a sign (well, some of us shared signs lol) it was only a piece of paper but we wrote on it Free Hugs and ppl got all interested and wanted to hold up signs, too.
We're going to continue this.
And we're going to make people happy.
Monday, October 16, 2006
When you look around you and see the colors laying one on the other, it eases your mind and creates a solid screen of beauty.
What people fear is sadness. They fear losing control, which will lead to sadness. When you're scared it's because you are afraid of being sad, when you lose someone you're sad because you're thinking about all the times in the future that you'll want them but won't be able to have them, but it's not actualy sadness, it's the Fear of Sadness.
Someone asked me "How can you miss him if you just saw him?" Well lemme tell you something, that is Why I miss him! If I didn't see him in a long time I wouldn't rememebr what I'm missing
NEVER LOSE SIGHT OF THE MOON
She stopped writing not when she had all these mega explanations for it, but when it simply started melting away.