Thursday, August 31, 2006

I've come to realize that if I simply stay closed and don't tell people anything, I won't regret anything and I won't accidentally say anythign I didn't mean to, cause trust may be misleading. And even though I do need ot talk when I'm anxious or lonely, I'll just have to swallow it all in and suffer because people don't deserve to know anything about me. And I don't think it's fair to make people havta worry about Me on top of worrying about Themselves. That's why this blog is not aimed for anyone specifically, so that if someone doesn't care to hear abut it, they don't have to, they can just not read my blog. And I realized that poetry is what I do when I'm mad or nervous or scared, not when I'm relaxed and happy. And that in places that I feel more comfortable in I allow myself to be leisurely while in other places i stand stiff and don't touch anything and don't talk and don't be myself. And in places liek that I feel awkward and lonely. And in the other places I know I'm in the right place and with the right people. But I won't be there for a while.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Poetry is the source of love and of pain.

Pain is the source of all Poetry of love.

Love is the source of all pain and all poetry.

last night I hung out with yoni and amy and yonatan... which means mainly yonatan since you know how it is... and we listened to music and drew pictures to go with the songs and they came out pretty weird, yonatan's were nice, i like them. And then I got home at about midnight but couldn't fall asleep until about 4 in the morning, and i was thinking of staying up all night but then i would be tired and at some point i just fell asleep... and then i remember i was dreaming of these really cool boys names and i was writing the names on top of a paper and i was thining of the name "Trevice" or "Trever" or something and my mom was telling me the name of a movie and i was about to write the movie down when all of a sudden I heard the sound my phone makes when i get an sms. so, with my eyes half shut i reached for my phone and i got 4 sms's in a row and i was like "whoa" and then i wrote back to yon and asked if i can go back to sleep thats when they said they love me lol it was interesting... but anyway i fell right back asleep and woke up at like 1 in the afternoon but im still tired. and yonatan wrote about me on his blog yay

US Trip

Florida; Boston, Mass.; Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada; Detroit, Michigan; Highland Park and Chicago, Illinois; Indiana; Ohio; West Virginia; Virginia; Pathesda and Baltimore, Maryland; Washington, D.C.; Delaware; Fair Lawn, New Jersey; New York.

All together 13 states plus a Canadian Province (Ontario) and the District of Columbia (Washington).

I really need to make a scrapbook

Monday, August 28, 2006

Back in Israel, in the Land of the Lonely and the Suffocating.
In the country where nothing encourages me and everyone seems distant and unfamiliar.
In the place where ordinary things are worse than plain.
And good things never work out.
And strangeness is common.
It's gonna be the coolest scrapbook! All the quotes I jotted down along the way, the snapshots, the tickets, the jokes, the motels, the hotels, the houses, the cars, the roads, the trees, the beauty, the adventure.
13 states in 14 days

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Oops, I forgot about Delaware. We also passed through Delaware.

ani chozeret yom sheni batzeharaim.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

So far this trip I've covered Florida, Massachusets, New York, Ontario, Michigan, Illinois, Indiana and Ohio. We've still got Pensylvania, Maryland, New Jersey and West Virginia.
In the car again. It's 7:34 (Tuesday night), we've been driving for five hours, we have 5 more till we stop for tonight in an inn in Pensylvania (that'll be about 12 midnight). Early tomorrow morning we're off to Washington, D.C.
The Sarah McLachlan CD is playing in the car, my mom driving, Benjy drinking Coca Cola, me typing, everyone sitting around talking or doing whatever. And the country is beautiful, and it's all we see now. For miles and miles, green streches of land.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

To sum it all up in three words I'll have to say:

Family Is Good.

I'll post photos later.

Friday, August 18, 2006

We're waiting to enter the USA from Canada and we're about 50 yards away from the bridge that borders the countries. This morning we left our hotel (Hampton Inn) and drove 15 minutes to the Niagara Falls. We boarded the cruise that goes like right under the falls then we went up to the top of that huge tower from which you can see the whole area, and especially the luscious storms of water thrashing down the falls.

We're on our way to Detroit. We were supposed to get there by 5:00 pm, but now it's 5:07, and we're stgill waiting here on this long road to cross the bridge. And they're taking photos for thew Bar Mitzvah at 6:00, which we might miss :-(.

But this weekend will be great.

Miss you guys!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

10:23 Thursday night, at a motel in Buffalo, NY, right by Niagara Falls. I can't see Niagara Falls but we're going there tomorrow morning.
Right now I'm in this rented Buick Terraza with the other five members of my family, and we're driving through hilly New York state, on our way to the city Buffalo, to the Niagara Falls, all the way from Boston, Massachusets. The ride is great, green on both sides of us.

We were in Boston for three days touring around and having a great time. Now we'll be here and then on to Detroit, Michigan, then Chicago, Illinois, and back to NY... And then home. I'll write more later.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

And as I walked down the stairs, I figured I had too many photos on my digical camera, so, seeing Nathan playing on the carpet, in full view right in front of me, I didn't need so many photos of him, so I deleted one. It seemed so fine to erase it because he was right there. But later, driving home in the rain and the lightning and thunder, after seeing Aunt Ra, Uncle Josh, Bennett and Nathan for the last time in at least another 6 months, I yell at myself, how could I have possibly erased a single image of him? He won't be right in front of me for a long long time...

And I wonder, how time works in a funny way. For at least a year, the minutes and hours and days crawled by, inching out in lengthly periods of time; and it seemed to torture me with the anxiety and excitement of the upcoming immense joy, and it kept nearing, closer and closer, and finally it came. And in one split second, in less time than what seemed to be an hour last month, it's all over.

Just like that.

And at the same time that I am leaving people, and wondering how I'll survive without them, I'm also continuing on to see more people who I love and miss and want to see and be with. So it's weird to be leaving one person (who I've waited forever to see) and going on to see the next. And again, before I know it, it'll be over. So fast. And the year will start again and the whole cycle will begin, and even all the hundreds of photos won't be enough, and how could I have erased even that one?

Saturday, August 12, 2006

I wish I could capture all the cute things my cousin says. Today he was so adorable! Well, at some point this afternoon, he stood there and said "Ummm" and then went over to his Mommy, my Aunt Ra, who was sitting on the couch, and whispered in her ear "I just wanted to tell you that love you"

I love the smell of the fresh air and the smell when you walk into the apartment after being out in the heat, I love how there's no sheet of grayness on the horizon (pollution), I love the squirrels and the trees and the clouds and I wish I could take it all in and never leave it, because it makes me feel so great and so fresh and I want it to be everlasting.

Friday, August 11, 2006

I'm having so much fun here! And on Monday I'm flying up to Boston and I'll see Ben and the rest of my family will be coming in a day later so I'll see them too. This will be my frist time in Boston!
I'm going to miss Florida when I go back home. I love everything here! And I especially love my cousins Bennett and Nathan, who are the cutest and smartest kids in the world!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

In The Boys there's an automatic train running up by the ceiling and two trains and running on two tracks in opposite directions. And the four year old says about the faster one "He's going too fast. I bet he doesn't have a licence."

"Honey", she says to the seven year old, as he's in the living room walking around and flopping on the couches and she's sitting at the table sticking his fork into some of the food on his plate in order to feed him when he comes to the table. "Come over her and eat. It'ss make you big and strong."
So the four year old stops eating and says "Mommy, then why am I not big yet?"
He's smart, eh?

"She didn't look too good. I mean, her husband has always been sick and she always has the burden of taking care of him. Puts a lot of pressure on her."
"Yeah, she told me she woke up last week all dizzy and disoriented."
I ffeel bad for her, I thought. I hate being dizzy.
Then the four year old asks in his cute mushy four year old voice, between bites of food, "What, was she drunk or something?"

"Mom, are you gonna have any more kids?"
"Well, probably not..."
"Mom, can you control how many kids you have?"
"Well, usually. Some people have kids when they don't want to, and some people want to but can't."
"How can you control it?"
I sat in my chair chewing quickly on my food as the seven year old is inquiring in all this stuff. I didn't know what she would answer him. Maybe a bit awkward.
"Well," she begins. "This is adult discussion. Eat your food."

Thursday, August 10, 2006

"Love Conquers All"

"My words are my Law"

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

(Now it's really Wednesday. 11:22)

I just played tennis with my grandfather. It was really fun but I'm so out of shape because I haven't played tennis or worked out or even ran for like a month. How sad is that! Well, uh-oh maybe I'm subliminally becoming more girlie, becuz I got a manicure and I don't work out! This is baaad I gotta shape up and get real!

I'm having a tons of fun! Bought some new clothes and a really cute bikini!!! I wouldn't normally wear a bikini but it was just so pretty! (And pretty cheap- it was on the clearance shelf at the store [JC Penney])

When I go to my aunts tomorrow I'll try to transfer my digicam photos to her comp and then email them out. I got some gr8 pics from the waterpark yesterday! It was soo much fun!

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

do u guys ever see my profile? cuz its cool and to me its like another page of the blog i keep changin it. and btw, it's tuesday today and not wednesday, i don't know why it's going by the israeli time! well wtvr.

Monday, August 07, 2006

We were at the pool right now for over two hours. It was so much fun! Tonight we're having steak for dinner Yum!

Sunday, August 06, 2006

It's sunday morning, 11:06.
Time is passing by way too fast.
It's already a week since I got here!
Well, I went shopping,
Went to a safari,
Went shopping again,
Hung around with my cousins,
Ate some more,
Hung some more,
I love my cousins.
They're so cute!
The weather is hot
But humid.
And the weather broadcasting is totally undecided
Every day they change it
So that it comes out that
Let's say Sunday,
On Friday they say Sunday will be sunny
On Saturday they say it'll be rainy
On Sunday they say it'll be cloudy.
So whatever Sunday turns out to be, they were always right!
Yet you never know what's gonna come.
In Israel at least they're pretty accurate about the weather.


Wednesday, August 02, 2006

I got some really great pics of my cousin Nathan at Lion Country Safari. He's such a cutie, especially when he was running around in the water area, jumping up and and down and smiling! It's great here. It's pretty hot (like 90 degrees) but I like the humidity and the fresh smell of Florida!!!

Right now it's 8:42 am