Thursday, August 31, 2006
I've come to realize that if I simply stay closed and don't tell people anything, I won't regret anything and I won't accidentally say anythign I didn't mean to, cause trust may be misleading. And even though I do need ot talk when I'm anxious or lonely, I'll just have to swallow it all in and suffer because people don't deserve to know anything about me. And I don't think it's fair to make people havta worry about Me on top of worrying about Themselves. That's why this blog is not aimed for anyone specifically, so that if someone doesn't care to hear abut it, they don't have to, they can just not read my blog. And I realized that poetry is what I do when I'm mad or nervous or scared, not when I'm relaxed and happy. And that in places that I feel more comfortable in I allow myself to be leisurely while in other places i stand stiff and don't touch anything and don't talk and don't be myself. And in places liek that I feel awkward and lonely. And in the other places I know I'm in the right place and with the right people. But I won't be there for a while.