Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Sometimes I want to scream to all those things holding me back, "SET ME FREE!"
Life is tricking me. I'm on a TV screen. People are laughing at me wondering why I'm starting to realize that the world is fake.

18 comments:

Joi said...

sometimes they laugh to hide the fact that they're also realizing that the world they see is fake. but they are so scared to see things as they really are instead of how they see them now- the easy way to see them- that they laugh. and they point at you. but really, they are pointing at themselves...

michael said...

It should be ture

*Miriam* said...

Joi, you wrote "but they are so scared to see things as they really are", I think they ARE seeing things the real way. I meant that something is watching me from some other dimension, laughing at me, like we might mock an ant, at how clueless he is. I wrote a post a few weeks ago that talks about this. But then I guess maybe it doesn't matter if this world is fake, if I'm in it I do what I can, just like an ant does what he can. But if the ant knew he lived in such a limited existence, he would feel imprisoned, too. The ant doesn't know. We don't know, either. We think we are the highest existence in the world, but we are mistaken. Mikewarn is right, It Should be true. But I don't think it's true that they are actually laughing at themselves.

*Miriam* said...

Maybe it's more right to say that by thinking they are laughing at me, I am actually laughing at myself. I don't know.
But I don't think I'm laughing at myself. I think they are laughing at me.
And you might say I choose to feel this way. But then why don't you just choose to live in some utopia or something, if you can choose whatever you want. No. You have to try to understand the world, to discover it, and only then create your own.

Joi said...

whoa, you confused me.
i wasnt talking about higher exsitance or angels. i dont know if im bothered if other people are living in a happy place. cuz i cant be there.
i understood the tv screen very differently. and i didnt say u were laughing at urself. i said those who mock you for living life at its fullest are really just laughing at themselves, for not doing so...
sorry for misunderstanding...

*Miriam* said...

I know what you meant. But I disagree with you. And you're right, we might be understanding this differently.

What I meant was like in the Truman Show, have u seen that movie? He's on a TV screen, they use him as a TV show. I feel like that. They're watching me. So what I meant before was that according to your thinking I think that you would probably say that I only feel this way because I feel that trapped feeling about myself and therefore think of it as someone else trapping me, like how you said that when they laugh at me they're actually laughing at themselves, so by me thinking they are watching me, maybe I'm just feeling self-conscious.
But I really don't think this is the case.
I do not think I'm self-concsious, because if I am then I don't see I am so I won't be able to change it, so I doubt I am, and I don't feel like I am.
If you have ANY clue what I'm talking about, that's cool.
I understand what I'm saying but when I go back and read it it all sounds really complicated.
But that's how it is when someone expresses their mind, if you're expressing properly then everything will be unorganized and complicated like in a dream but in the end it all makes sense and it's all the truth.

And I think it's the truth that something from a higher dimension is wathcing us and mocking us like we would mock an ant, but we don't notice it because we're naive and we think we are the highest creatures in the universe.

But we're not.

No, I'm not talkign about some sort of god.

And I wrote about this a few posts ago, maybe liek a month ago, about this whole other-dimension thing. So go back and read it maybe you'll get more of a sense of what I'm talking about.

*Miriam* said...

It's in the post of Tuesday, September 12th.

Joi said...

i understand what ur saying. truman show was indeed a great movie. but i dont think thats what ur describing. because truman was a human being watched by humans. ur talking more about a whole higher intelligence. kinda like the Ellimist and Crayak in animorphs. if you havnt read them- they are these creatures above space and time, and humans are really pawns in this enormous cosmic plan (the ellimist being good and the crayak evil)

personaly i think thats silly. it seems from ur posts that ur religious, which should be an answer, but say it isnt. and say there r a whole bunch of ellimists, hanging around on some planet, who are kicking around the everest like we kick bottle caps we see on the street.
SO WHAT???

humans have gotta stop feeling sorry for themselves, dammit!
honestly. so someone there has more information and more cabailities, and its frustrating.
say uve got a friend who is unusualy smart, or talented with whatever. so she might be smarter than u r. but ur so smart. and have so much in you, and you havn't peaked yet, so he FREAKING CARES?
well, thats just my opinion, anyway:)

joi said...

sorry, i wrote a big cosmic PLAN. but it wasnt like that. it was a game. there werent gods or anything.
also, i wasnt trying to give u pep talk, and be all "we love u miriam! you ARE worth something!" cuz thats stupid, and ur not some depressed teenager. i meant the whole analogy there metaphoricly. like, if humans have got more to go, im not worried yet. and i dont CARE if someone up there is laughing about me. let them laugh. its healthy:)

Joi said...

embarrassing, but- another correction. that would be WHO freakin cares, now HE

*Miriam* said...

I see what you're saying. But it's annoying to think that all the beautiful things I see around me and all the spread-out sceneries and the endless skies might be little specs to someone else. I mean, it should be factually beautiful, it's not fair if only on MY level it's beautiful, it doesn't feel as real this way. It should be wonderful to everyone, no matter what.

*Miriam* said...

another correction - you meant to right "not" not "now" hehe :-P sorry

*Miriam* said...

oh damn it now I have a correction to make on myself- "write" not "right"

woops

*Miriam* said...

Who are you? I mean, do I know u or something? This is so weird. U live in the US?

Joi said...

who am i. thats a hard question to answer. what is a person anyway? his name? his heritage? his ideals? personality? those are all things that can be changed. that cant be "ME".
who i am is the changes i make in thers lives. those, even if they seem that they were covered be a mistake i made or a friendship that faded away- well, it can never be earased.
thats why i chose Joi. thats one of the things that i want to make others feel. realy happiness.

about this being weird- i dunno, does it feel like u know me? maybe u stumbled across my blog. maybe im freakishly like a friend of yours or ur sister or i dunno...

*Miriam* said...

No, you're just the type of person that I would love to have as a neighbor or a classmate or a friend. And yeah, it does feel like I know you and I'm wondering if you're someone I know, under cover, lol. never mind that, though, becuz it doesn't really matter if I know u or not, as long as I can learn from you and you can learn from me.

I agree. Who you are is how you change the world. That's important to remember I guess.

How did you find my blog?

Joi said...

lol. are any of your friends cool enough to create a whole new identity just to talk to you? if so, i wanna meet them too:)
i found ur blog in a really funny way. i was on a blog i found randomly, and i clicked on one of the books they had on thier profile. then i clicked around at the results till i found I found a capricorn (im born January 2nd). i dont believe too much in astrology but it was late at night and i was bored:)
by the way- i forgot to tell you i LOVE your photography! i especially like the diagnol one of the four guys. its a coll pose, but i just love the diagnol thing. i love picture that are not vertical or horizontal. i think it makes people think out of the books. look at reality in a slightly twisted way than it truel is...

*Miriam* said...

I know, that's exactly what I think too, that's why I love doing diagonal stuff. And I think I have some pics of diagonal cars, too, lower down on the blog.
I love photography! Through a lens, anything can be beautiful.