Wednesday, November 29, 2006

I went back to the memories and sifted through them, and saw all the things I missed. I didn't even realize how wonderful it was back then. I almost cry everytime I remember how good it all felt, how safe I was, how wanted I was that summer. We all walked, talked, stared out into the distance- but it didn't even matter to me, I didn't care what was out there. I was embedded in so much warmness. I was always happy, even the complications made me happy. I remember the feeling. I didn't need to think too much, all there was were thoughts of hugs and love, and there were those and holding hands. I didn't change since then, I just got more experience. Everything is so new now. There's so much more now, I don't need all this newness, I'm happy living in small world with only a few people. I really am. Now there's still that love, but it's surrounded by a million other annoying things. I wish I could have stayed 15 forever and ever and ever and ever... I mean 15, with my tanel, and with all the old stuff...

Sunday, November 26, 2006

My tree collection

[Kinda messed up
but funniness still happens, hehe...
-"Yeah, that woman offered me a ride to the busstop... She has a head-covering and everything, she's religious, it's fine."
-"That's how they all start, m-hm"]

Friday, November 24, 2006

People always say that happiness is one of those things that someone can pass to someone else but still have the same amount - doesn't run out.

But in our group, there is never a time when EVERYONE is happy all at once. It feels like when I'm happy I stole someone elses happiness becuz all of a sudden they're sad.

So the happy ppl make the sad ppl happy, so then the sad ppl turn happy and the happy ppl turn sad. or even if the happy ppl stay happy, other ppl in the group become sad.

And when u think of it, the whole world is like that: Never is the whole world happy.

And if we were all happy there wouldn't be a balance and if we were all sad there wouldn't be a balance.
Or maybe there's nothing wrong with no balance. Because when it's a matter of happiness, it has nothing to do with actions, it just hasta do with ppl's brains.

Last night was awesome :-)
We ended school at 3:40 and naT came and went with me, yoni and alina to tel aviv, to azrieli. yon, pip, chavi and amy were there. like 30 min later everyone already wanned to go cuz most of them were there all day so we went on the train then just stayed on it till it got to jm. so we stayed in jm for like an hour. time flew by like a rocket ship.
I'm going to eat now.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Happy Birthday BATSHEVA :-)

I'm gonna try to simplify myself. Try to forget the fact that I like to analyze every single thing that roams the earth. Gonna try to focus on one thing, on the fact that I wanna make up some sort of random soup. Or judging by the fact that it's ME making this so-called soup, it won't end up like soup, it'll be more like vommit-colored, shit-textured mush. But I like making up recipes, it's so much funner than actually reading a frikin recipe from a book.

I always said I hate cooking, but it's actually fun if u make up something. And it's even funner if you're doing it with someone else, like in the kitchen with a friend, able to use wtvr ingredients and just spend a while in the kitchen, concocting creativity on a plate.
Wanna come cook with me? hehe

my tanel

Saturday, November 18, 2006

What they teach us is what we overcome them with

Friday, November 17, 2006

w r i t i n g

it seems like most of my time is spent writing
but i guess after i finish the book it won't feel like it was all one big waste of time, it'll be so worth it in the end.
sometimes i find myself surrounded by papers i wrote on, and im still writing and im writing and writing and the pencil is always in my hand and the pages are filling up with words and more words.

on wednesday night the band played and they were so frikin good that i almost cried it was so exciting hehe
it was better than i thought it would be, cuz yon had a fever and they totally didn't know it was that night so they didn't practice at all that day and blah blah it turned out so much better than that, so much better than anything, even though they think they did badly... but the truth is
i loved it

(i took the pics)

Sunday, November 12, 2006

We have to create a whole new world in our head just to stop ourselves from being like everyone else
awesome if my blog could be like the center of ideas that ppl ask me to write about, cuz anyway lots of ppl read my blog so it could be a whole cool thing, so comment on the stuff... anyway... for today (from a friend):

can people change? like truly change who they are? or at the end of the day, you are who are you, and its probably who you've always been...

Saturday, November 11, 2006

I find it so insulting when parents read those "Understanding your teen" articles, and then think they know everything about us, they think they can know everything from reading a frikin one-page article. And then they come and say we're "troubled teens" or "they need to get us help" and I'm trying to figure out why that's the most annoying thing ever. It's like I'm an object and they havta like read the instructions on the box. And then anything I do that's a bit different from what the instructions say I become "a rebel", because they're so scared that I'll go too far off, but the only reason I would go so far off is because they're like this. So in the end, they cause the problems that they fear.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Last night was Anna's (sweet 16) surprise party. It came out really nice in the end and the cake was alright, and my made-up icing was really yummy just that there wasn't enough of it.
We surprised Anna at her door with balloons and then we all hung out and we ate the cake and gave her half of her present. Pizza Sababa, I decided, is good. It was fun hanging around on Emek Refaim and then in that park there.
I met David who's really cool, and I also kinda met Noam (I already knew him but we never rilly talked).
All in all, good party :-) and I hope Anna had fun!!!!!

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Ear muffs and nose puffs!

The thing is, all humans have a common denomenator: We all believe it is important to live (it's either life or death, if you're still alive it means you haven't chosen to kill yourself - it means you Do believe it is better to live than to die, no shit).
This common mindset connects us all.
When you walk in the street, in that sense - all the people around you believe the same thing (there's only one reason ppl would believe death is better but still be alive - becuz they want to kill other ppl as if like contributing to Death, like when we believe in something we try to get everyone to go that way, so they would want to kill everyone if they believed death is better).
Everyone around you is different, but the same.
And I try to read deep into their minds, what do they see from where they stand? What are they thinking? Are they wondering what I'm thinking? Do they realize we're all connected in the root of us even though we're all different?
BUT THEN, I realize, I WANT to be completely different. I WANT to have NEW ideas that no one ever came up with before. Most ideas and theories we all have are from things we learned from other people or read in books, and have liked the idea so have taken it upon ourselves. But have we ever really CREATED our OWN theory? A completely original idea that we live by?
Do we follow what others do, even in the tiniest things?
When we look out of a window at a sunset, does our mind soar to different places than anyone else's mind does? Or do we all see the same basic thing and think the same basic things?
I think if we were all more variegated, the world would have progressed faster. But then again, in we don't move all together, and we don't all try to reach the same goal, maybe all the little different goals that people have will leave the world standing right where it is.
I don't know if it's good to belong to a group. If you belong to a group you are prone to be pre-judged or stereotyped. Maybe we should all be individual, but then again, if we each have own own ways, maybe they won't work togetehr and the world will be a catasrophe.
But then again,

Sunday, November 05, 2006

People are selfish. Everything we do ends up being for ourselves even if we think we do it for others. I'll explain more in a comment if someone writes back.

If nothing changed there would be no butterflies

It's the last things that stay in your mind, the last thing you hear, you see, you feel, before you sail off back to where you came from.
If nothing changed there would be no second view

The deepest things come on the thinnest sheets of paper

One of the most annoying things is something that could be changed if not for skipping heartbeats and adrenaline si
zzling up my brain.

What's beyond the concrete walls of reality?
What's beyond the skies of conception?

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

I hate rhyming poems but wtvr hehe

Barefoot in the rain
Barefoot in the cold
Barefoot when we're young
Barefoot when we're old.
Barefoot in the summer,
Barefoot in the fall,
Barefoot when we run
Barefoot when we crawl.
Barefoot with them
And barefoot with you
Kick off your shoes
Barefoot when we wish
Barefoot when we dream
Barefoot when we hide
Barefoot when we're seen
Barefoot when we fly
Barefoot when we land
Barefoot when I hug you
And when you hold my hand.

everything is fixable
everything has a loop-hole
Every law has an outlaw
fuck shcool
appreciate the little things
remember the night
remember how the wind blew
and how it made you feel

Bringing back some old posts, becuz no one goes back to read them anyway...
Monday, Sptember 11th:
The edge of the world where mortality becomes eternity and love becomes insanity. Where the oak is sore and the trees sway in the chaotic heaven I call love.
Dream on, Dream always.