Sunday, August 12, 2007

For God's Sake, Just Be It!

Is it called giving up
When you decide to STOP
Trying to rearrange your thoughts?
When you try to stop thinking about thinking
And stop needing so much order and
Stop being impulsively desperate to know everything right NOW
And just slow it
Slow the fucking mind
And lay in bed and go to sleep,
NOT thinking about Every single thing.
Just lay there, like a normal person,
Like a patient human-

I tell myself-
PRETEND you're patient.
Because of course I can't REALLY be
Because REALLY
REALLY
If you wanna know,
I'm not patient-minded
I'm always
making sure EVERYTHING is perfect
Rushing what's ahead,
What's behind,
What's NOW.
I am already living tomorrow and next year in my head
Every second
Because I'm always SEARCHING for things to think about.
sometimes I want to just let things BE
sometimes I want to just let things HAPPEN
You know, like have tomorrow be a surprise

So now-
I give up.
I tell myself-
Pretend you're Patient.
Just be it.

Just be it for a little while,
So you'll be able to fall asleep,
So you'll be able to be normal.
Just be it.

1 comment:

Buzzed said...

i always love what you write even though a lot of the times i cant identify. this time, i totally can.
I think its not giving up. i think maybe it the opposite. maybe its resistance. Survival in your mind.