[I miss the united states when I realize that the difference between here and there is so big.
Here I wonder if I'm sad. I wonder if I'm just TRYING to be sad- I think about being sad. I think- am I sad? I doubt my happiness
I don't even think about it.
I wish my grandparent's house could be a place I visit frequently. A place I have as my second home- a place second best, but best. A place I WANT to have only as second best (because right now it's the best, because the rest is less good). A place I want to be like every other place, but still beautiful.
A place that makes me happy without me having to realize- 'This Is Happiness".
I want it to be ordinary.
I want it to be like it always is-
But I want to be in it.
All the rest take it for granted-
I wish I could, too.
I wish it wouldn't be nostalgia there-
Rather, just a place I am IN.]
To everyone else, that's crazy.
I'm looking for things to complain about.
Well I'm done with wondering what everyone else thinks.
Well, at least I wish I could be over with it.
But I think this concern will be with me forever.
I will always be strapped down by people's criticism.
I will always be scared.