Monday, June 30, 2008

[Sometimes people analyze things so much and go so deeply into things, that they reverse everything. Like the line "you only say he's wrong because YOU'RE the one who's wrong". That's a line that can be used at any given moment, and it sure is overused. Because you could say it back and fourth and eventually it needs to stop because the truth is that it doesn't apply to everyone. I can't ALWAYS be explaining the bad traits of other people to deny their existence in me. Because some people really ARE wrong.]

525,600 minutes
525,000 moments so dear
525,600 minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets,
In midnights, in cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife
In 525,600 minutes
How do you measure a year in the life?

525,600 minutes
525,000 journeys to plan...

שירים מתוך ספר השירים "שירי אהבה" של יהודה עמיחי

עכשו ברעש / יהודה עמיחי

עכשיו ברעש לפני הדממה
אני יכול להגיד לך את הדברים
אשר בדממה לפני הרעש לא אמרתי,
כי היו שומעים אותנו ומגלים את המחבוא.

שלא היינו אלא שכנים ברוח הנושבת,
סמוכים יחדיו בשרב העתיק מארם נהריים
והנביאים האחרונים של מלכות עורקי
נבאו לתוך הרקיע של בשרך.

ומזג האויר היה טוב לנו וללב
ושרירי השמש אומצו בנו בזהב
באולימפידה של רגשות, על פני אלפי צופים,
כדי שנדע, שנשאר, שיהיו שוב עננים.

ראי, ונפגשנו במקום המוגן, בזוית
בה החלה ההסטוריה לעלות, שקטה
ובטוחה מן המעשים הנחפזים.
והקול החל לספר בערב, ליד מיטת הילדים.

ועכשיו מוקדם מידי לארכיאולוגיה
ומאוחר מידי לתקן את הנעשה.
קיץ יבוא וקול צעדי הסנדל הקשה
יטבע בחול הרך עד עד.

לשלח זכרונות טורפים / יהודה עמיחי

אני חושב בימים אלה על הרוח שבשערך
ועל השנים שהקדמתי לבוא לעולם לפניך
ועל הנצח שאקדים לצאת אליו,

על הכדורים במלחמה שלא הרגו אותי,
אלא את ידידי,
שהיו טובים ממני משום שלא
המשיכו לחיות כמוני,

על עמדך בקיץ ערומה לפני הכירה
ועל שנרכנת על הספר להיטיב לראות
באור האחרון של יום.

ראי, היו לנו יותר מחיים,
צריכים עכשו לשקול הכל
בחלומות כבדים ולשלח
זכרונות טורפים במה שהיה הווה.

אלהי, הנשמה שנתת בי / יהודה עמיחי

אלהי, הנשמה שנתת בי
היא עשן
משריפת תמיד של זכרונות אהבה.
אנו נולדים ומיד מתחילים לשרוף,
וכך עד שהעשן כעשן יכלה


Sunday, June 22, 2008

You are a feather in the wind,
With no arms to hold onto anything
And no legs to steady yourself upon the spinning Earth.

You fly around in agony,
Clumsy and tired,
No strength to hold you up against the winds of pain.

You feel your body is spilling into pieces,
You have no control over the change that's taking place.

You are helpless, hopeless, falling.
You are conforming, moving, slowing,
Not actually going anywhere.

You are guilty, shameful, invisible and wrong,
But you are truly righteous and able and beautiful and THERE.

To you-
You are not there
Not anywhere.

Can anyone help you?
Can you help yourself?

Can you outdo the physical pain,
The weakness in your bones,

Can you grasp onto a sky
And pull yourself through?

Can you let yourself live - or die -
Without thinking about tomorrow?

Can you keep on finding ways to be happy,
Can you please try to believe you are
Holier than dust

We all have God in us,
We are Divine
We are meaningful!

We are not dying,
We are MORE than flesh and blood

We are able to stop the spinning
Start the spinning
Kill or revive,
Swallow the heavens in us
Spit it all out,
Change the universe
Change ourselves
Change color, number, size
Light
And
Dark
And we can take control over almost anything
If we only believe.

Monday, June 16, 2008

On such a feathery night
When words float like ribbons
Through soft sweeps of air,
I roll my life into a Color,
Onto a paper,
Into your hands,
And that in itself
Unravels the other nights-
The ones far more sharp
And gray.
Those other nights
Are heavy stones of silence
Clotting our bleeding souls.

****************

A slate of ice
Carving deep into the skin of my life
Leaving splinters of memories.
Bleeding through soft emotions,
Freezing them,
Hardening the soft brush of summer,
Till I am a stone of cold,
Left in the midst of a storm,
To shiver past the rest
And live on to see some more
To find a sun
To find a way away.





Sunday, June 15, 2008

"The reason I can't decide between the two of you is because together you're the perfect man"
-The Bandits
haha

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Words about Israel, part 2

The fifth aliyah (immigration to Israel) was between 1930 and 1939, and was called the Yecki aliyah. This wave of immigration brought with it a new sort of style to the Jewish settlement in Palestine.
Starting in the fourth aliyah, the right-wing ideology of city life and capitalism became widespread. European Jews came with the desire to create a life similar to the one they came from. This contradicted the ideas of the earlier pioneers who came to fulfill a Zionist-socialist dream of agricultural life in Kibbutzim and Moshavim (collective settlements and cooperative settlements).
The fifth aliyah was even more drastically right-wing. A mass of German Jews - yeckies - left the worsening antisemitism in exile and came to Israel in their formal suits and polished shoes, ready to open businesses, universities, hotels, malls... The were scholars and intellectuals, professors, teachers, lawyers, architects... They came with their honest, perfectionist selves and created a natural revolution just by being here and letting their personalities take over.
It's funny for me to imagine it...
Like sweating, hardworking agriculturists, digging, plowing, building under the sun, and then you have these people in European suits walking in with exact precision, like a wave of black and white overcoming the brown-greenness of the lives here, making it be exact shapes and angles, a European city life.
On the one hand this did indeed modernize the land and help it move forward on a global first-world country level. But on the other hand, the early pioneers found it difficult to accept that capitalism was outdoing socialism, and that their work was not wanted anymore.
Now people wanted to sit in fancy restaurants instead of eating watermelons out in the field.

Aspirations

Elena Blavatsky, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr. and Sigmund Freud.

Words about Israel, part 1

"A wheel is needed? I am the wheel!"
צריך גלגל? אני גלגל--

Those are words Joseph Trumpeldor said as a Zionist Socialist in the early 20th century here in Israel (then Palestine).
His belief as a pioneer in this arid land was to do whatever needed to get done in order for the Zionist dream to come true, through working the land with his own two hands, and working Hard.
That was the vision of the leftist pioneers during the first three major immigrations to Palestine (between 1882 and 1920). Agricultural work to redeem the land for Jewish settlement. For them, work was a virtue, a goal, and not only a process. The point was to live here as pioneers, and only by actual land work will they be able to claim the land as their own. Not by speeches, persuasion or campaigning, but by the means of their own two hands they believed they would redeem as much land as possible.
They took vast areas and made them viable. They paved roads, water tunnels, anything that was needed, that's what they did.
They had a dream, a vision, and they were ready to do it.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

I don't trust people to do the things they say they'll do
Because they don't do them.

"Everyone has their poison"
-JD, 20-yr-old Australian

The more memories you carry
The more over-loaded your brain is.
There's a limit
Before it all start merging together
And creating blurry schemes
Of a vague history.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

We're all the same

I sit in between three people.
All three doing something either disgusting (I mean nauseating), mocking, or condescending.
Basically, three not so high-class people.
I think at first, maybe I should get up and move. I think I'll throw up. I don't like these people, they are not being good people.
At second thought, I realize I must stay.
Why do I think I am so much better, to get up and stand above them?
Who am I, to walk away from such mediocrity.
I am a fourth, next to those three
I am one among four
And not one
Next to three.
We are all humans
And we all do things wrong.
Just because I'm grossed out by them or don't like them doesn't mean I have the right to move-
When you get right down to it,
I'm human
Just like they are.

I am 18
5"4
Black hair
Blue eyes

And they also-
Have an age,
A height,
A color,
A meaning.

We're all the same.
They fucking have a chronic disease of cheating.
Not only do they cheat on EVERY test, but they also GO THROUGH the teacher's bag when she's not looking to find tomorrow's test to know what questions will be on it.
Like today, another girl and I were taking the test that's being given tomorrow (because we can't come tomorrow). We got the same tests the rest of the class will get tomorrow.
Before the teacher took it out of her bag to give it to me, she left the classroom for a minute.
In that time:

ש.: יאללה יאללה תסגרי ת'דלת
(ב. סוגרת את הדלת, מצחקקת)
ש. רצה לתיק של המורה, כשב. מחזיקה את הדלת סגור.
ש. ממהרת לחטט בין הדפים

I was sitting in back, and when I realized what was happening I ran toward the front of the class and grabbed the bag and held it shut, blocking her hands from going into someone ELSE'S belongings.

אני: לא. זה פשוט לא נכון מה שאתם עושים
ש.: לכי לכי את י'זבל
ב: טוב, עזבי את זה לפני שהמורה תגיע
ש.נ.: י'צדיקה אחת
ש: את יודעת מה קורה בסוף לכל הצדיקות, הסוף שלהם הוא בדיוק כמו של כולם... צדיקות צדיקות עד ש...
איזה חרא את, מה אכפת לך?!

כן. ככה זה אצלנו

תכירו, בנות ישראליות "דתיות" שאין להן טיפה של מוסר ואטיקה.
יש להן רק דחפים-
דחף לצעוק
ולגנוב
ולרמות
ולהרביץ
ולזלזל

ואז

להרוג.

Monday, June 02, 2008

I just remembered something that happened last year:

A bunch of us were walking in JM, when Joe said "Whoa, look how cool that is!" at the white side of a tall building.
He started walking toward it and laid down on his back by the building- head toward the building- and threw his bag next to him.

Immediately, I knew he was talking about the contrast between his black clothes and bag and the white wall. I thought it was really interesting that he noticed that- it surely was an artistic contrast, and I liked it, so I took a picture.
I was wrong, though. That wasn't what he meant.
He meant that if you lay down and look up at the tall building, it looks like it's gonna fall on you.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

-Umm, I don't know (-me)
"We thought you were a walking encyclopedia!"

I hate disappointing people