Sunday, August 31, 2008

I wrote two posts yesterday which I didn't publish, and they were both good. Just scary. So I don't want to read them.
Tomorrow I start mechina. It didn't register until now that it's tomorrow, and that it's the whole year, and that this is the end of my living at home for the rest of my life, or at least for the next three years.
It's sad.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

When I was nine or ten, one of the chain letters was to drink a whole cup of water at 22:00 and then to say the name of the guy you like and he would tell you he loves you back within a certain number of days.
I'm still waiting - 9 years later - for that wish to come true.

Friday, August 15, 2008

I can't live
When the space for my words is so small.
It's like trying to squeeze something so immense
Through an alleyway so narrow,
Until it all gets repressed.

I wrote this on my arm at Kikar Tzion

People flying around,
Dissolving into the background.
Light swimming through love
And hate.
Night in a city.
Love in remission.
One in a million.
Sounds of human neediness.
Summer salvation.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

An easy palpitation of what was
A smooth recognition of nothing.

Waiting and waiting
And letting leaves turn red and
It never ends
It accumulates
On the coat rack of frustrations!

Blue worlds
Under dark smooth waves that cascade
Onto a shore of Silence and
Invisible emotion.

This is a blink of Truth.

It is a blink of Truth.

Until it turns into a renewal
Of dried-up fragments
Of a memory.

But I shut my door
And save the words
For the next victim in this world.

Or for myself
To eventually scream them off a fucking hilltop

All

By

My

Self.

This land is beautiful,
Blue sky over dark hills rolling away beyond buildings

But I know it's still there,

It's there somewhere,

Because It's so small
And so dear
And full of opportunity

And I empty my shelves of frustrations
Out onto the field
And I spread them out over grass and flower
And I make them go away.

Because it's so beautiful.

And I'm so lucky
And so happy.








There will forever be Harmony.
Flutterby
Will always be my color

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

As a Cure, is it better to be addicted to writing or to talking to people?
Either way, I need a cure.
So maybe I should try harder to find the source, so that I won't Need a Cure.
I try to use my words as my persuaders. And it's hard because they get all jumbled up and I need to find the perfect order for them, in which the specific sequence of words will express exactly what I want to express.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Just realized

It's one world, each day is one day. But there are more than six billion people on this earth, and another couple million or billion animals, and each living creature experiences every day very differently. So the same day is going on for all those billions. So it's really not one day in a day, but billions of days in a day.
So it's billions of months and years and worlds, all happening at the same time.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

In the book in memory of Moshe Shenker, 1937-1995

Immortality / Unknown

Do not stand by my grave and weep,
I am not there,
I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awake in morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight
I am the soft star-shine at night.
Do not stand by my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die.


UNKNOWN

He was my North, my South, My East and West,
My working week and my Shabbat rest
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my sogn,
I thought that life with his would last forever-
But... I was wrong!

The stars are not wanted now, put out every one
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood
For nothing now can be as good!

Friday, August 08, 2008

We are architects of our emotions:
We style the walls so they will create a harmony, will help us stay in, and will still let in light.

We sell ourselves for the beauty of the construction of the emotions,
If no one buys it, we have to sell ourselves and start again.
Thicker walls to hold up during a storm,
Smaller windows,

No doors.

No no
That shan't be it.
We are architects to our emotions
We style the walls so that light will still be able to come in.
Light, come forth
And illuminate the squareness
And cast a different shape.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

We seat 1,000: 17 at a time.

I'm in Highland Park, Illinois. Today's Thursday. I've been here since last Wednesday and I'm going home Monday night

Monday, August 04, 2008

Memories

I think the best way to treasure a moment is to just live it and move on

[There's no way to hold time in place
But there's a way to make the memory a strong source of happiness in the shelves of your brain
Just let it seep in, and
move on
Don't try to freeze it.]