Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
My stomache hurts and has been for the last two hours because I drank something with milk, and I was just at the Gush Katif museum with my mother and it was very sad, and now I'm crying as I sing this song, because Gilad is really very far for way too long and I need him need him need him with me, and it seems like he's been gone for so long, even though it's "only" been a week...
I think I miss him more than I used to. I really feel like I NEED to feel the creases in his sweatshirt on my cheek.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
I know I need to do something with my time, something important and contributory. Someone asked me what I do every evening when I come home, well... Once a week I have hip-hop, I'm trying out a drawing class that'll be once a week (this is for now, it might change), I arrange to meet up with friends or with my sister, I go shopping, etc. But in my mind flickered a little embarrassment when I answered with this answer, because I have time to change things in this world, yet I'm not doing it. Being young is a great time to do things. EvErything in my life happens slowly, because I'm lazy. It took me nearly 2 months to "settle myself in", now I'm starting courses/classes, when will I finally actually DO something? Another problem is that I really don't know exactly what thing I should do, it's a problem. What needs to be fixed?
I'd like to have there be an organization that goes around to Muslim schools in Muslim countries and talk to the kids about the importance of Love, and Peace, and loving life and humanity.
Today, I was thinking that maybe my Giving needs to be out of my talents. Maybe I need to write, maybe that's what I need to do. Write, or draw, or something. But what should I write about? How can I write, when my mind is a big mash of everything I see at their own given time? I see a tree and that's the truth, and how can I think of a story? A tree, and there's a house, and there's lights and colors, how can I make myself into a book?
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Can you just tell me WHY? She screamed, this time the sound of her filled the corners. He turned but his face was no longer visible to her. She reached out her arms and tried to lift her legs to stretch toward him but he kept getting farther and farther away, the back wall kept distancing from her in lonely footsteps. She was like a fragment of the peeling paint, glued, stiffened, no way, no way. No way, this can't be happening, she tried to think, but even that was strained and rusty. her mind was sad. Again. She was so much older than how it was when she was younger, back in the days... I'm thirty? She thought... If only she could go back to being normal again. She wished. It was hard to wish when she knew where she was.
And there she was again, in it. In the page. On the page, stuck, plastered to the white one she resented. Page numer 65, in the middle. Out, get me OUT! She demanded again to that wall, he flew away, she knew he loved her but she knew she didn't know other stuff, like her human weaknesses. It was time for dinner, they were calling, but she was there and he was there, but not.
I donno, what is there to eat? The wall saddened her and she again became small but with emotions as big as a hurricane. Puny, with a mind as wide as a whole dimension.
Yeah, it was definitely her again, in the thing. On the page.
Saturday, October 09, 2010
-I donno when...
But she started to cry.
He couldn't even reach his arm around her, it was stiffened in place by the cast. His soft eyes turned toward her brain and he kissed her so sweetly. His existence was marked by the love she so naturally peppered over him. He cinnamoned her life, made her days and nights feel like sugar and pie. They were like two weak blades of grass, entwined together. Two clouds, merged into one, to rain over the world. They were fickle, they were fragile, but they felt strong when they were together. Nothing frightened her small mind and body when she was with him.
-I love you, Beautiful.
She sailed off five days later, to another life.
But six days later she was back. He was not.
It was spring. Marma was a soft-spoken mother, she did not know much about anything, other than the fact that she loved her five children dearly. Her husband was gone often, and she's been wanting to divorce him for a while but he was never around to talk about the issue.
Skye, Sunn, Raine, Rose and Charlie, her five cubs, all scrambled into the house from the backyard, their hands and feet speckled with mud. They were happy, so Marma was, too.