Friday, May 27, 2011

Most stages in life are short enough to be able to keep track of, and have organized, ups and downs. You can pinpoint when it was up, when it was down, and it makes sense, and it ends eventually.
But some stages are so long and stretched out, that the ups and downs get so messy and disorganized. it's up and it's down and it's up and it's down and it's up and up and down and down and down and up, it can make you crazy because you can't keep it under control, you can't have a list of what's going on, it just keeps on going.
One reads oneself over all the time and evaluates "am I happy now? Am I okay?" And one wants there to be able to be continuous organized stages of this, just like one want one's life to be able to written nicely on a resume.
You keep thinking it over-
I studied for twelve years
I got a degree in whatever
I did so and so
And then I did this and that for x amount of years
And now I'm a successful Y.
People don't want their life to be a mess. And this is what I'm talking about, about these stages that just drag on, like the army. Where you can't reread over the last two years and know what the hell was going on when. And if you write a letter to someone summarizing these years, you can't set it up nicely in order of stages, of ups and downs, like pancakes, like I wrote at the beginning, it's just a whole jungle of things.

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