But I also miss my aunt and cousins and would really love to visit them
And I also want to scan the old photos (I loved to flip through over and over again) in my grandparents' apartment with a professional scanner and work on them on photoshop so that I'll be able to print them in big (this is many times possible, I discovered) and hang them around my house.
Black and white photos of my great grandparents and grandparents when they were young.
I feel like I want that continum in my life.
My mother's family is very important to me, I feel connected even though I hardly ever see them.
I would really love to see them all and talk to them for real.
Not like when I was young and UJ teased me that I would "marry a rabbi", but he never knew that I was not like my parents and that now I am not at all religious. And I guess they really don't know much about me because as I've written many times on this blog, verbally I'm in the dumps.
I'd like to write them letters, espeically to my dear grandfather, but I don't really know what to say.
Most people don't know what it's like to have a part of your stomach and gut-love on the other side of the world.
Gilad, for instance, has his whole family here in Israel, and doesn't know what it's like to love houses so anxiously and to miss people so desperately.