Monday, February 24, 2014

I don't like living in an Arab country, where people are rude and inconsiderate. While Israel is made up of migrants from all around the globe, the most prominent culture and the one that feels most at home here is an Arab culture. Aside from it being the majority of migrants here, it is also the loudest culture (you don't hear polite Europeans walking down the street, but you do hear Arab-country-originating people yelling, and that makes it more prominent and noticeable).
I visited the United States for 2 1/2 weeks last month. That was enough time to miss Gilad, but not enough to miss Israel. I was so excited to finally arive (as the El Al plane landed and the song כמה טוב שבאת הביתה by Arik Einstein played, I stared out the window and couldn't help crying, as a new migrant might have done, arriving in the "Holy Land"), and to walk out to the waiting area where my beloved Gilad was waiting for me. But as soon as we got on a bus home I realized- I do not like and did not miss Israeli transportation.
The things I don't like didn't finish there.
One of the locations that frsutrates me most in Jerusalem is the lightrail stations. People yelling and being rude and littering the ground with cigarette butts. I realized that when I stand in a certain spot, I always need to move because people who pass by just walk right into you (and don't say sorry or excuse me). I did a little experiment two weeks ago. I stood in one spot and did not move, to see if the group of Arab teenagers coming close would walk around me like polite people, or knock into me. You can guess what happened. One of them knocked me with his shoulder and just kept wakling.
That Was It.
I hated it. Hated living in an Arab country.
I'm not talking about Muslims- but Arabs of all sorts- Yes, even Arab Jews. It's a culture different from the Western one I am familiar with and tend to appreciate. I'd like to be around polite decent people (like those in most of the places I've been in the US)- people who will say Excuse me to pass by you, and who will notice you and walk around, and say Sorry if by accident they bump into you.
I don't find it "homey" or "warm hearted" when people are rude. I don't buy that.
The night we got back from the airport I was hungry and we stopped in the central bus station to buy food. Gilad got a slice of pizza with garlic bread. The bread was dry and Gilad brought it back and I saw from where I sat that the guy took it with a smile and tasted it himself and nodded. When Gilad got back to the table with a free slice of pizza instead of the dry bread, I said that was funny, and that would never happen in America. I liked the fact that the guy just took a bite from bread that a customer had eaten from.
But still.
There are so many things I dislike here.
Life inside the city is frustrating.
What else is frustrating, other than the rudeness? Wow, so much.
The hypocrisy of many extreme political leftists.
The way people want to just give everything away, for a "Peace" that will never come because the other side is not interested in it.
The way people think the Peace Process is failing because of the Israelis.
I really want to live somewhere else.
But I also think, what is the point of life if there's no threat or crisis?
What's the meaning of living in a quiet place like south Florida?
What art can I create there?
But then again, what art do I create here?
Not really anything amazing yet.
I should probably get out of this distraught and tragedy-stricken country.
But then, who will stay?

Thursday, February 20, 2014

A sweet memory I just came across:
Every Sunday supper was yummy Shabbos leftovers. There were so many options that when we were younger, my mother would write out a "menu" for us, with a list of all the things, and two rows- "Miriam" and "Dena" (and sometimes "Mory", too, if he wanted to eat), where we'd put a check next to the food we wanted. This list was given out before supper, wherever we were around the house, and then we'd hand it back and my mother would set a plate for each person with their requests, and warm it up in the microwave, and then call out "supper's ready" and we'd come down from whatever we were doing and we'd all eat together.
Ah, lovely memory :)

Wednesday, February 12, 2014


Three inventions\technologies that should (and probably will) be invented in the next decade and will help me very much:

1) A professional scanner that is not flat-based but rather reads your information just by hovering it over the object\photo. This is good for high-quality scanning of photos in albums that are hard to lay open on a scanner, or other objects that are hard\impossible to lay flat on a scanner.

2) A photo album that can show videos. While watching a family-memoir-video I made yesterday, I imagined seeing it inside an album I can have on the shelf. You can open and see photos like regular albums AND watch videos on the flat page of that same album. This way I can show videos and not only photos on my bookshelves when people come over, or it can be used by artists\advertisers as a showpiece, instead of having to turn on a computer. And think how cool it is to open a book and watch a video inside.

3) Something that can capture smells. 180 years ago photography was invented which enabled an image to be fixated on a surface. Now we need to invent something that will fixate a smell. I was in Florida in my grandparents' apartment and kept thinking- if only there was a way to seal the smell in something and then smell it or use it later, let's say in an art exhibit. And I felt as someone might have felt before cell phones were invented: I'm sure this will be invented someday soon because it's a much needed technology. And hopefully in my lifetime, but unfortunately probably too late for me to capture those specific smells I want.

Monday, February 10, 2014

למה לא יותר אנשים טבעוניים?

אני לא מבינה את זה. 
אני לא מבינה איך הורה יכול להאכיל את התינוק שלו בתינוק יונק אחר.
אני לא מבינה איך אנשים יכולים להיות אדישים לעובדות הפשוטות, כמו הרג של אלפי אפרוחים זכרים מדי שבוע בישראל, או הפרדת עגלים מאימותיהם.
אני לא מבינה איך אנשים יכולים לפנות גב למצפון שלהם, בטענות שהם חייבים כי זה "שרשרת המזון" או כי "אין מה לעשות".
אני לא מבינה איך אנשים אוכלים מוצרי בעלי חיים באופן יומיומי, אך מסרבים לראות תמונות זוועה ממשקים תעשייתיים של אותם בעלי חיים כי זה מגעיל ומזעזע אותם.
אני לא מבינה איך אנשים יכולים לעשות קוצי-מוצי לכלב שלהם ולאכול פרה שחיה את חייה הקצרים בסבל ובעצב.
אני לא מבינה איך אנשים יכולים להיות כל כך חמדניים, כל כך אליטיסטיים, עד כדי כך שלא אכפת להם מיצורים מעונים וחסרי ישע.
אני לא מבינה איך כל כך הרבה אנשים מסכימים אך כל כך מעט בפועל עוברים לטבעונות.
אני לא כל כך יודעת מה לחשוב על ההצהרות שאני קוראת במדיה על האחוזים הגבוהים של הטבעונים פה, כי אין לי אף חבר קרוב טבעוני. האם אלו שקרים, או שפשוט במקרה כל אוכלי הבשר הם האנשים שבסביבתי?
אני מרגישה שאני עדיין עוף זר עם הטבעונות, למרות שרעיון הטבעונות בכלל לא זר!
אז מה, אנשים מפנים גב, מסרבים להקשיב, להאמין? אנשים כל כך לא מוסריים, כל כך לא קשובים למצפון ולחמלה שבתוכם? אנשים באמת כל כך רעים בעולם שלנו?
כן. אני חושבת שכן.
בעוד שהרבה אנשים באידיאל רוצים לעזור לאחרים, הם עוזרים בעקיפין בדרך כלל. הם נותנים צדקה, או אפילו מנדבים את זמנם לכל מיני מטרות שהן מחוצה להם, כאשר הדברים הכי קרובים לצלחת לפעמים הולכים בלי שיבחינו בהם.
אני חושבת שזה הדבר שהכי מעציב אותי בחיים כרגע. ההתעלמות של אנשים מבעלי החיים במשקים התעשייתיים. 

אני יודעת שבוודאי יש עוולות בחיים שלי שאני גורמת להם בלי להיות מודעת, אבל אני בוודאי משתדלת לא להתעלם כשהדברים האלה נגלים בפניי.  אם מישהו יסביר לי על זוועות שקורות בגלל מעשים שלי, אני אקח את זה מאוד ברצינות ואעשה הכל לשנות את דרכי. אנשים זרקו לי בעבר משפטים כמו, "אכפת לך מבעלי החיים אבל לא מילדים בסין" (לדעתי כשאתה עושה מעשה טוב זה לא אומר שבבת אחת אתה צריך לתקן את כל העוולות שבעולם, אבל לא משנה), וכן- אכפת לי מילדים בסין, אבל א)אני כמעט לא קונה דברים וב)ניסיתי לחפש מידע על זה באינטרנט ומלבד מקומות ספציפיים שבהם יש עבדות חמורה של ילדים, אני לא מוצאת איזו תופעה רחבה שאני יכולה לצמצם בעזרת אי-קניית החפצים והבגדים שאני ממילא לא קונה. ולאותם חברים אני אומרת- אם אתם יודעים מידע על זה, תשתפו איתי! אבל לא, הם רק מטיחים בי אשמות- "הילדים בסין, הילדים בסין..."

מה כבר יש לעשות? אף אחד לא מקשיב. המין האנושי הוא חרא. אנשים נאנסים, נשדדים, נהרגים כל יום. האוויר והמים שלנו מזוהמים ומלוכלכים וגורמים לרבע מהאוכלוסיה לחלות בסרטן. 

אין לי מה להגיד.
אני רוצה להתנצל בפני כל בעלי החיים (כולל בני אדם) המקופחים והמעונים בעולם. הייתי רוצה לעזור להם, לכולם, באמת לעזור, אבל נראה שאין בכוחי לשנות את כל העולם.

Parents who feed their babies with other mammal babies.

Tuesday, February 04, 2014





It was really hard to say goodbye to my grandfather last week.
He was in the hospital and then a rehab center the whole time I was there because he fell a couple of days before that, but I think I spent as much quality time (or more) than I would have if he was home and I stayed by him.
We spent over an hour every afternoon at the hospital and then rehab center, and I tried to take pictures and videos of things he said. I missed a lot on video, but that's because I was more focused on listening and being there than turning on the camera.
When I had to leave him, maybe for the very last time, I gave him a hug and then I said "I love you" as I left the room. His hearing is impaired and he did not hear me. My aunt urged me to go back in and say it again. I went in right as he asked me to move the wheelchair closer to his bed, and then as I stood up I said louder "I love you!" and he said "I love you, too!"
It was as if he is now both my grandmother and him, in my need to spend quality time and to say goodbye, in the feeling of closeness. I feel that most years he was the silent one when my grandmother cried as I left, but now I felt all my goodbyeness was aimed at him, he contained both him and my dear grandmother, and I had a hard time saying goodbye.