Sunday, July 26, 2015

In a month I'm moving out of here, flying out of here, for three and a half months...
I'm leaving behind all those that I love (my dearest Sumsum and Nemo) 
I'm going on an adventure. I don't know exactly where I'll sleep, what I'll do or how I'll travel from one place to the other, but I feel that it will be okay to flow with whatever happens and learn patience and learn courage and endurance.
I have an outline of my trip, but I don't yet have inner flights and I'm traveling on a very limited budget. This will be a minimalist adventure. This will be about meeting people, places, nature... And myself. My true unattached brave self, somewhere deep down, under all the layers of fear and anxiety and reliance.
I will be swinging around states I'm familiar with, and some I've never been in. I'm going to trek for 30 days in Oregon with people I don't know, with not much preparation and not much equipment... This may be stupid, this may be amazing...
I'm not scared something will happen to me, but I'm scared I'll be alone, lonely and afraid. I'm scared even the dark of the night will scare me, I'm scared I'll feel abandoned.
I know I won't be completely alone because America is my second home, I'm an American citizen, I speak the language. And I will always be able to dial to my brother and ask for help, if I'm scared to my bones or if I get lost in the forest or fall down a pit... That won't happen, but it's good to know I'll be (only?) 600 miles away from him.
I will also be able to Whatsapp my Sumsum, 7,000 miles away, in our hometown of Jerusalem.
And I will always ALWAYS be able to sit on the ground, feel the earth, and ask Mother Earth to shower me with her beauty and her divinity, and to give me strength to do what I want to do and to be who I want to be :)
It will definitely be hard.
I'm nervous 
But I'm also looking forward to it.
It's a month away and I can't sleep properly. Lately many foods give me a stomach ache. It's really hot in my apartment. I just got back from a wonderful weekend with my love up north and I miss him already and am not really able to do what I need to do, which is organize myself for the trip and organize my room here in this apartment which I really don't like anymore.
So I made myself some ice cream and it's in the freezer, I need to wait for it to freeze. And it's really hot outside and in here, I'm practically sticking to myself, and I'm nauseous, and I'm waiting for what I always wait for... Salvation and Freedom.

My travel blog:

No comments: