First of all, if I die, I accept that sadness and longing are an integral part of the separation. I do ask of you (each one of you, dear family and friends), though, that after you allow time for grieving and pain, please rise from them and keep on living life to the fullest, being productive and happy, conquering the beauties of human ability.
I know I often say that I have not done enough yet and that I am not doing what I feel I should be/can be doing, but I also do feel that as of now, I have shared enough words in the world to form a pretty good picture of who I am and who I was, and that really no more words are needed. I am young, but I have said a lot. And also, despite my complaining, in this life right now in beautiful Bellingham, I live with Tal and Nemo, and they make my life so warm and pleasant. I am so grateful to be living in this sweet home with them and to get to spend so much quality time with them. Thank you, Tal.
These are a few things I did want to get done in my life:
Build a normal (good) dog shelter in the Beit Shemesh area and/or other areas, where the dog shelters are abysmal. The dogs would have comfortable areas, and the staff would be well-trained and well-caring, around the clock. I also want to create the community/sustainable cafe-art gallery-guest rooms-traveler hub. I also want to make an art exhibit with my art. I also want to travel around the world and volunteer with children. I also want to write a book. I also want to feel whole.
Nemo is my dearest. I know she loves me, and I love her too. I want to go on my travels knowing that if, God forbid, something happens to me, she will be taken care of in the best possible way. I do not want the responsibility of taking care of her to fall on Tal, unless he full-heartedly wants to. But he shall not feel bad about not wanting to, because I want him to be a free man who uses his talents and does the things he loves. So (unless Tal full-heartedly want to take care of her) Nemo should be brought back to Israel on a flight with someone who loves her. If she must be put in a crate she should be trained well to like her crate ahead of time, and to have things in it that make her comfortable, and the airline must be a trustworthy one for regulating temperature, etc. In Israel she should be taken in by someone who loves her. People who come to mind might be Gilad, Samuel, Dena (although Dena has another dog, but I do want to state that I know it is possible to train Nemo to befriend other dogs, by starting them off in a neutral area and slowly getting them closer, rewarding with treats, etc.), or other people who know me and know Nemo and feel they can do a good job being loving toward her, giving her hugs and kisses and compassion and a warm and safe place for the rest of her life.
Tal, please live on. Please conquer your mountaintops. I love you, we had a really unique and special time together. Cherish that and take that and keep on striding forward :)
I have many things, mostly in Israel. Now, while alive and active, I am hoping that the people who will go through my stuff will be people who appreciate who I am and hold no awkwardness toward my being; people who appreciate art - the sloppy, internal, colorful and exerpted kind.
I love everyone. Every one. Everyone's inner compassion. That is what I see in the world around me, and that is what allows me to live without much anger.
I encourage all of humanity to use their compassion to its fullest. To be patient and attentive, and above all - honest, sincere, authentic, true. Ah, what a blessing.