Tuesday, March 19, 2019
Beginning of March:
Last night I heard a beautiful song I love before I went to sleep. Well, it was sent to me on Whatsapp by the musician in Israel who wrote it. I asked him for the chords, and he videographed himself in his kitchen in Israel singing and playing it on guitar for me. He addressed me directly and wished me that I continue to sing and to add light to the hearts of the friends that I meet along the way on my journey. And then he closed his eyes and started strumming and singing.
This is a song I heard for the first time a few weeks ago, in a video from a sacred song circle in Israel. It touched me so deeply, it reached into the core of inspiration for me, of luminance and love and passion and tugged at my heart. And that overwhelms me, oh god, how much that overwhelms me! It's so beautiful, and makes me want to merge into those people writing the music, performing the music, and even into the music itself floating through the air, and the dissonance between that desire and my static body causes a rift that cannot be bridged.
I would want to share the video here so you could all see how wonderful it is and how sincere that man is, but it is personal, and I didn't ask his permission to share it, so I will not. I just wish everyone could share in my excitement from heart-deep music, really fully heart-deep authentic music, that a person writes from that place that I know people - especially Israelis - have rooted in them, just by being a people rooted in the earth, music that draws from an ancient language and an ancient yearning that continues through the ages and never ceases to exist.
Oh, and then I couldn't fall asleep, of course! My night's consciousness was liquidy, yearning deeply to connect to this music in the way my soul wants, while half asleep and half awake and lying static in one place without the ability to fully merge and submerge.
I also didn't know why and how I deserve this beauty, and wondered, from inside the well of inspiration, what I should do more in this world to be more deserving of it.
There is something about music that just blows my mind.